well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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