So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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