she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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