i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize