I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize