last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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