i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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