I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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