I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize