The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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