Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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