i already hear my dad disowning me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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