Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
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i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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