Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize