ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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