so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
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Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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