Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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