Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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