He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
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there were more penises there than on chat roulette
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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