I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I had to cum in my sink.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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