how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize