Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize