But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Come see our sink grown plant.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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