for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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