the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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