I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize