You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize