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Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Randomize
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