in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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