he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize