he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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