My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
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