Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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