Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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