Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize