covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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