I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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