Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Randomize
Follow @tfln