shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize