Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
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Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
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Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize