i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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