i permit you to call me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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