At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
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I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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