Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize