I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
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We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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