Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize