bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
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Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
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If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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