is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
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The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
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Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I didn't notice because vodka
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
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