I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize