im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
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i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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